Monday, March 2, 2009


I found a website that lets me watch every episode of "bleach" while i'm at "work". Street fighter iv is amazing. I have enough money for the study-abroad program in Japan. "I don't think I have a girlfriend. However, I am pretty sure that i know a girl that would be really mad if she heard me say that." (mitch hedberg).

Monday, January 19, 2009

Male Maturity..

I arrived to work late today. Of course, one would imagine it had something to do with lost keys, or any one of the normal excuses that people use. But today, that was not the case. I gave myself plenty of time to shower and get ready upon returning home from the gym. Problem was...I was on such an endorphin high, that I ended up beat-boxing in the shower for like, twenty minutes because the acoustics were so good. I am 29. Wow.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

24hr Fitness.

Today, I discovered something about myself. I found that I do indeed, possess a rather high level of resolve. I endured an immense level of pain and discomfort and chose the hard route rather than giving in and taking the easy way out. I did this because I knew I would be disgusted with myself if I gave in to that temptation. I knew......... that I would rather dig a hole in the frozen earth with my windshield scraper.............. than use the crapper inside 24hr fitness. The funk of 100,000 men compressed into one area and steamed,(because of the shower). I think I'll pass. Held it till I got home....Almost didn't make it...

Tuesday, January 13, 2009


You need to read Fuck You Penguin's blog. Especially read the one called "swans are natures porsche drivers"...too funny.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

And what have you.....

And here I sit, amidst the best made plans of men. God help us all.

It seems that creativity is usually not a pleasant experience for those who are deemed to be so. Maybe creativity is little more than an attempt to "correct" the world around you. Maybe there is balance, harmony, or dare i say, peace in the acceptance of the mundane. Maybe that's why it seems like so many so-called "normal" people appear to be so content. They make no attempts to alter their reality, which allows them to completely focus on whatever problems they think they have.

As people, we are all probably doing the best we can with the tools and the vices that we have been given. That scares the shit out of me.

On the subject of the opposite sex: I like her body so much, so very much, but her mind is making it very difficult for me to listen to anything she is saying. And as my days go down into the west, it is becoming increasingly difficult to pretend like we're connecting.

I want an indie woman. A woman who makes her own clothes on occasion. I want her to turn me on to some music that I have never heard of. I want sleeves of tattoos to be adorned with rich green and red flowers. Black bangs and stainless steel piercings with "The Fashion" playing in the background. But no skinny jeans for me baby. I just can't rock em' right.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009


We will charm you with sex and luxury.
We will trade your blood for our metal.
You will trade your soul for our gold

Tuesday, December 23, 2008


I work with this guy who, no matter what time of day it is, is always moving close to the speed of light. For awhile, i thought he was a functioning meth or coke-addict like someone from "intervention",(which might be one the most amazing train-wrecks on television since "flavor of love" or that show with bobby brown and whitney houston), but today, i finally put it together. This gentleman is always holding a large coffee "mug". Actually, it's more like a 64 oz. big slurp cup from 7-11 with a handle. He is seen about twice a day, taking five and a half foot strides towards the breakroom. Imagine that popular Bigfoot video, sped up about five times, and in business casual. That is this guy every day. His khakis must have nomex inserts to keep his legs from bursting into flames, because this guy is flying to the coffee machine to load what has to be a snow shovel full of grounds in there to get that much coffee. I imagine what it's like to watch him 'load" that machine.


Fellow Employee1: (whispering) "why is he yelling? Is it safe for us to have a wood burning stove in here??

Fellow Employee2: "It's actually a coal oven. He modified it because the unit here couldn't produce on the level he needed. Oh yeah, and try not to touch him until he gets his coffee, (holds up hand with missing index finger), he gets a little agitated.."

Now, I've "experimented" with coffee in the past. All it gave me was a slight buzz, bad breath, and the overwhelming urge to crap.....LARGE. I couldn't imagine needing it like he does. But I guess that caffeine works different on all of us.